You may be thinking to yourself that this is an odd first post. Part of me is thinking the same. The truth of the matter is that I have been debating my first post for a while now, and as I have been out of the blogging game for quite some time, I honestly have no idea what my blogging voice is, or ought to be. I've been over it, back and forth for months now, and I think at the end of the day, I just want to share. I hold many passions and enjoy many things. I want this space to be a positive environment where I share with family, friends, and unknown faces, the little things that make me happy.
I do intend to share bits and pieces about my world. I am madly in love with the most amazing man and I want this blog to be part documentation of that so when looking back, we have visual memories that aren't necessarily taking up shelf space. Although there will be plenty of those as well. It's also the perfect place for family and friends to keep up with us. In saying that, I don't always intend to share the nitty gritty. In all honesty, we're very lucky and there really isn't much grit, but as I am someone who does wear my heart on my sleeve, why not share a few things right from the get go.
These are the things that won't be taking center stage here but that are still very much a part of what makes me who I am. I'm not ashamed of any of these, they just aren't things I bring up in everyday conversation with say the milk man and barrista at my local starbucks.
Without further ado, welcome, and enjoy!
* I'm an introvert *
Although I certainly enjoy the company of others, I'm a total homebody and I really just enjoy the great company of a few close friends. Growing up, I preferred Friday nights curled up with a good book instead of spending time doing what most teenagers do. I'm the same to this day and prefer to keep my group of friends small and intimate. I like true friendships and I'm not one for fluff.
* I suffer from depression *
I hesitate to even mention this because a very big part of me believes, despite what my doctor says, that I suffer not from depression, but from a hormonal imbalance. However, after having struggled considerably the past few years, and having spent the better part of the last fielding weekly doctors appointments and tests, I've been placed on an anti-depressant and despite my reservations, I function better than I have in years. And when I say years, I mean going back to high-school. I'm in my late 20's, so this has been going on forever. *And let me just clarify that my reservations in taking an anti-depressant had nothing to do with the stigma attached to it, but with my belief that I was being misdiagnosed and ignored.*
* I'm at a complete loss as to what to do career wise *
I feel as though the story of my life can best be described by Dr. Edward Bach in his description for the Wild Oat flower remedy for emotional imbalances. His description goes as follows.
" Those who have ambitions to do something of prominence in life, who wish to have much experience, and to enjoy all that which is possible for them, to take life to the full. Their difficulty is to determine what occupation to follow; as although their ambitions are strong, they have no calling which appeals to them above all others. This may cause delay and dissatisfaction."
This has been an issue for me my whole life. I love so many things and although I know that in ones life, one may have time to accomplish numerous things, my feet do not go forward, at least not in the direction I would like for them to. As a result, I have accomplished many things, yet nothing that is truly of great importance to me. This really bothers me, and yet, I have no clue how to rectify it, despite understanding and knowing what to do.
* I (we) want to elope *
One of the big reasons JP and I have yet to tie the knot is because part of us would love nothing more than to run away and get married just the two of us. And the kicker is, we don't want a quick elopement. I want to spend thousands on a dress and even more on photography and I want to go somewhere different, and beautiful. And I do want to share it with those closest to us, but part of me is nervous that they won't appreciate it to the extent that we will. JP and I are very different than our families and I think to a certain extent, they may not understand. I'm also the only girl in my family. I know that upon our return, we would hold the most amazing evening, but after almost 11 years together, we just feel like it's something we would like to do alone.
* politics, schmolitics *
I know absolutely nothing about Canadian politics and didn't vote for the first time until our last elections. I do however follow American politics and I am beyond nervous that Obama isn't going to get re-elected. This could possibly cause quite the anxiety attack.
* I'm agnostic *
I was raised catholic but I do not practice nor believe. I understand this is a sensitive subject for many and I hold no judgement. I believe in faith and karma, and that is my 'religion'. This disappoints my mother greatly. I think she confuses faith with religion though. Mom, if you're reading this, I think the world of you! :)
***
I feel like this could probably go on indefinitely because despite my not wanting to share too much, I do enjoy it. I could sit for hours with you and discuss life and people and why people are the way they are. Why I am the way I am. My beliefs, my reservations, and so on. I do genuinely enjoy these chats. I like knowing that despite people's fronts, no one is perfect and we're all human.
I hope you have enjoyed this peek into who I am. And I hope you enjoy the many posts to follow. I'm still gaining my footing but be patient and stick around. I think this will be a great place.
Chantal
xx
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